Мемуары

Foster home

By on 10.06.2020

I devoted fifteen years of my life to working in the foster home, and I can speak about it for hours, overcoming again and again all these laughter and tears, joys and sorrows, remembering all these moments of pleasing ups and bitter downs. Here in America many Russian emigrants face with the harshness of this business. Caring for people of old ages is difficult only because of all this hardest work, which requires, first of all, unconditional and unstoppable love to these very old people, much of patience, empathy and compassion for them. Sometimes it is even difficult to call it business because of the meaning of this word that we got used to in Russia: we do not sell or buy anything, and we do not deceive anyone or try to cash in at the expense of others. No…! What we do is that we support people, and we show the best of what the Lord God expects from all of us. And all these love, patience, empathy and compassion have to be experienced and felt by your Soul.

You have to overcome the very verge of human disgust, cut off laziness, cleanse your heart of pride at the times, when you just want to scream and do everything in your own way or to keep silent and harbor resentment. There are many things that you will have to face up with, reckon or struggle with at most difficult times. And at these difficult times the only thing you have to do is to go to a person and help him to cope with his own vices. Yes, my work is more of internal than external. And although it is equipped with all this modern medical equipment, none of that even closely might help relieve all the humans’ pain and suffering, which you will have to work with every day. It’s not easy to help someone when you also need support, when you want to retire to some quite place and have a rest, sitting in a chair, thinking about different things.

And it is especially difficult at the time when my dear Bernice, having spilled soup all over the table and being unpowered to do anything with it, begs for this very help, that one day I might also need. In such moments I remember my dear mother. My debt to her is left unpaid forever, and, remembering again and again her last days, I think that the Lord brought me to this business not by accident. Nothing in our lives happens by accident, everything that happens is by the will of the Lord God. By this business the Lord teaches me how to love truly, so that the heart aches from pain, compassion for the fragility of these old people who settled in their last dwelling before leaving to the Eternity. With our prayers, love, patience, empathy and compassion we try to do everything to make this Eternity turn into the Kingdom of Heaven for them.

With all my considerable experience in this business there were not only believing people that lived with me, but also those who did not know the Jesus, did not read the Bible and did not live in accordance to the laws of the Lord. And their outcome was no less dramatic than others’ from the very moment they arrived to my foster home. With the appearance of anyone in our home and in our family, his life changes and takes on a deep secret meaning, and through communication with the God, through prayers and reflections, this secret is eventually revealed. It happened with Dora, a Russian woman from Ukraine. She moved in to our house unexpectedly and spontaneously. I got an emergency call from the state; they asked me to take care of Dora. At that time I had a free place, and somehow, without a long thought, I agreed. Of course, there are people that are, to put it mildly, uneasy and Dora was such a person. She had diabetes and, before coming to my house, her right leg was amputated, so she could not do without close care.

Аарон Пол, Aaron Paul, Мишель Монахэн, Michelle Monaghan

She felt worse and worse day by day, and doctors’ prognosis was negative. Prior to coming to us Dora lived in a one-room apartment, which was provided by the state without rent. She was practically unattended and rootless, although her grandson lived not very far from her, in Vancouver, and her daughter, who did not ever come to visit her, lived in a distant state of Minnesota. But we will talk about her a little later, so that not to lose the main meaning. The Grandson was an ordinary worker, he moved all the grandmother’s belongings to my garage, and thus his mission was completed. Then I had to think how to put everything in order. All week long my dearest girls, caregivers, were washing, drying and ironing to bring all her belongings into good condition, while I was making all the necessary agreements with the state to legalize Dora’s stay at my house… There were no other people, from whom this poor old lady could ask for help, as if the Lord God sent her to us with some good purpose. Dora was surprised with our attitude to her, with good food, cleanliness and home comfort. She used to ask often: «What kind of people are you? Incomprehensible, as if you fell from heaven…? I cry, and you would answer with a smile…? I complain and you would hug and kiss me…? Is it ever possible …?»

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В материале представлены кадры из фильма «Путь» от режиссера Майкла Уивера, Майка Кэхилла и Майкла Словиса

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